America needs a candidate with this platform!!!!

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012..HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately BANNED!!!. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy,'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you AIN'T gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.
(8). Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the EXACT price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said EVERY day at school and every day in CONGRESS.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... nevertheless....GOD BLESS AMERICA !
Sincerely, Bill Cosby

Joe and Jose.....

You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal".Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California ..

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes$25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.
Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number,And gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".

Ready? Now pay attention...

Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00Per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has$31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or$31,200.00 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has$31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage forHis family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal nowHas $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state andLocal clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has$31,200.00.

Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps orWelfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 perYear. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.
Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stampsAnd welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. JoeLegal now has $9,631.00.
Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. JoseIllegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. JoseIllegalStill has $ 31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe LegalNow has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has$31,200.00.

Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline,Etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities,Gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job afterWork.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. JoeLegal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children getA government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an afterSchool ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.

Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services,But Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.

Do you get it, now?
If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegalAliens...
You are part of the problem!
It's way PAST time to take a stand for America and Americans!
What are you waiting for?

What side of the fence.....

What side of the fence.........
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better hissituation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unlessit's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a goodlaugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".